No matter what you might have read elsewhere, premature ejaculation (PE) isn’t a physical problem.We know this because loads and loads of work has been done by scientists, and they’ve never discovered any physical condition or cause behind premature ejaculation. The truth is that lasting longer in bed is all about mental attitude.
In a way, that can be a disappointing thing to hear, because if there was a physical cause there’d probably also be some simple treatment like a premature ejaculation pill you could take to help you last longer in bed.
But, sadly, there aren’t any PE pills that actually work, so if you want a permanent cure you might like to look at this excellent treatment program, which will show you how to last longer in bed – every time! Click on the link to check it out now.
However, if you want some quick ways to last longer in bed, so that you can overcome PE quickly, you can use some tricks and techniques that “change” how you think about sex or slow down how quickly you get sexually aroused. But you know what? These tricks and techniques are actually fun to try out, and they can make sex a heck of a lot better – for both you and your partner! These tricks make the art of knowing how to last longer during sex really easy! Indeed, they offer a really simple approach to lasting longer in bed.
So the first trick is this: take it slowly. But what does that mean in practice? Well, a lot of guys with premature ejaculation are quite edgy when they think about how long they will last in bed and become even more anxious during sex. Maybe that’s because they think they have to last long enough to satisfy their partner, i.e. bring her to orgasm, or maybe it’s just because they’re concerned about not knowing how to last longer - or at least long enough to impress her!
And sometimes it’s because a guy has a very deep anxiety about sex (or even women); in other words, something buried deep in his subconscious – so deep he’s not really aware of it – is making him anxious during sex. An example might be when guy is worried that he doesn’t really know how to make love, or his penis isn’t big enough, or he’s not manly enough, or he’s not self-confident enough with women in bed. Yes, sex for men can be a long lasting ordeal if you don’t have a basic level of both confidence and competence.
But how does taking sex slowly help overcome premature ejaculation? Well, because anxiety or edginess around sex, no matter what’s causing it, will make your body produce more adrenalin, which makes you less relaxed, so you do everything with more energy, more quickly. As you can guess, this is not a situation which will help you to last longer in bed! Indeed, it makes you become sexually aroused faster, which of course means you ejaculate more quickly.
The other thing about doing sex quickly is that you’re not really “in the moment”; in other words, you don’t know how to last longer during sex so you can fully enjoy the sensations and feelings you’re getting, and you’re certainly not focusing on how to pick up your partner’s, thoughts, wishes, feelings and desires while you’re in bed with her. (The last thing you want to do in bed is ignore your partner’s sexual needs! And of course, your partner is absolutely longing for you to linger longer in bed!)
Taking sex slowly is a recipe for greater confidence: to sum it up, greater confidence means less adrenalin, slower arousal and a slower ejaculation. Being able to last longer in bed is not, as you can see, just a matter of being able to stop yourself ejaculating.
So what is the secret of knowing how to last longer in bed? Very simply: you find out how to develop complete control over how relaxed you are during sex. Slow things down, take long enough in all you do to keep an eye on what’s happening, notice how aroused you are during lovemaking, talk to your partner for longer in bed, discover what she wants and tell her what you want from her. Every so often just relax your body, take a couple of long, deep breaths and as you exhale just allow the tension to drop away into the bed.
Spend plenty of time on foreplay, kissing and cuddling – in fact one of the best ways of overcoming premature ejaculation is to make foreplay last longer in bed. That way, your partner can have an orgasm before you enter her. That way, she’s happy whatever happens, and she won’t be so inclined to judge whether you know how to last longer in bed than the next man!
Even after you’ve entered her, take it slowly. Don’t rush headlong towards orgasm. Take your time, thrust gently and slowly at first, perhaps using long spaced, shallow strokes to keep your arousal low. If you feel you’re careering headlong towards orgasm, slow down or stop moving altogether, and perhaps even withdraw your penis from your partner’s vagina. You can easily last longer in bed during sex if you employ oral sex or masturbation to keep her aroused until you’re ready to enter her again.
If you’re one of those guys – and there are plenty of them around – who finds being in a vagina so exciting that you pretty much come immediately or within a couple of minutes, one great way to discover how to last longer in bed is to simply spend lots of time playing with your partner’s pussy. The more familiar it is to you, the less exciting you’re going to find it. Ask her if you can explore it with your fingers, tongue and mouth until you’re more familiar with it. She’s hardly likely to say no, as she may well have an orgasm if you do this skilfully!
The second trick that can help you learn how to last longer in bed is all about muscle control. You may have read on the Internet that clamping your PC muscle can stop you ejaculating. (Just for those guys who don’t know, the PC muscle – full name pubococcygeal muscle – is the muscle that you use to stop yourself urinating when you’re in mid-flow. It’s easy to identify the PC muscle when you’ve got an erection because you can make your penis twitch when you contract it.)
But in fact that’s not the whole story: you simply cannot teach yourself how to last longer in bed or stop yourself ejaculating by clamping this muscle when you’re beyond your “point of no return”. (That’s the point in your sexual arousal where nothing can stop you ejaculating.)
Instead, what you can do is to tighten up your PC muscle before you get to the point of no return, keep it contracted for a few seconds, and as you do so, breathe out in several quick, short breaths. That’s a very effective way of reducing your urge to ejaculate and lowering your sexual arousal so that you can carry on for much longer in bed.
If you know how to do this for longer and longer as you make love, you’ll soon be able to last longer in bed, and the more you practice it, the easier and more effective it will be. Eventually it will become second nature. Oh, and share what you’re doing with your partner. The more open and honest you are, the better. As in: “I am trying to find out how to last longer in bed so I can give you greater pleasure, and this is one way to do it.”
She’ll totally appreciate your honesty… Oh, and by the way, anther great line, which is usually true for men with premature ejaculation, is: “I’m sorry I come a bit quickly, you’re just so dam’ hot and you turn me on so much, I can’t help it. We’d better just keep practicing!” (The last sentence is optional.) And here is some more information about the critical steps to lasting longer by choice.
The third simple technique for stopping premature ejaculation is to use the right sex positions while you’re learning how to control your ejaculation and disocvering how to last longer in bed. Man on top, although it’s a very exciting position, tends to make men come quickly simply because their muscles are so tense as they support their weight. Try instead the side-by-side sex positions, which put less pressure on your penis but still give your partner great satisfaction.
Once again, here’s the link to my recommended treatment program: how to last longer in bed. It’s how I became a long lasting lover.
