Considering Premature Ejaculation

Considering the number of men who suffer from premature ejaculation, it’s rather surprising that there are not more effective cures available on the Internet.

The reason for this is probably that any successful cure for premature ejaculation requires considerable dedication and effort on the part of the man. Faced with temptation of enjoying lovemaking, thrusting fast and reaching orgasm, most men will succumb to the temptation to simply ejaculate as quickly as possible, with little regard for their partner’s pleasure, and indeed, their own long-term satisfaction.

It is all about sex, man!

For the simple truth is that this type of behaviour during sexual activity severely deprives a man of the pleasure that he might experience if he allowed his arousal to increase further for longer, by engaging in ejaculation control techniques that stopped him reaching the point of no return — otherwise known as the point of ejaculatory inevitability — too soon.

If you’re a man with premature ejaculation reading this, you might be wondering what exactly “too soon” actually means. Well, the simple answer to that is that “too soon” is an ejaculation which occurs before your partner has either emotionally or physically achieved the pleasure and satisfaction that she needs from sex.

This does not necessarily mean that a woman can reach orgasm through sexual intercourse, because this is often not the case. Indeed, research has shown that the majority of women are unable to reach orgasm through vaginal thrusting alone, but this does not alter the fact that many of them require a prolonged period of stimulation in this way for emotional satisfaction and fulfilment during intercourse.

Needless to say, those women who can reach orgasm through vaginal stimulation are even less pleased when their partner ejaculates too soon, since it deprives them of the pleasure of reaching a vaginal or G spot orgasm, which by all accounts is much more profound and fulfilling than a clitoral orgasm.

Now whether or not this bothers you as a man depends on many different factors, including whether or not you are sufficiently concerned about your partner’s sexual pleasure and fulfilment to engage in a process of ejaculation control exercises. My experience has shown me that many men who have a rapid ejaculation tend to excuse themselves on the grounds that it is a biological condition that can’t be helped.

I’ve heard men refer to such issues as levels of serotonin in the brain, unusually fast ejaculatory reflexes, and oversensitivity of the penis. Research has demonstrated that there is absolutely no truth in the idea that changes in levels of serotonin are caused by, or a cause of, premature ejaculation.

It’s all too easy to take an anecdotal account and extrapolate it to a whole theory of how an organic condition such as premature ejaculation develops. This has not been helped by the fact that delayed ejaculation has also been linked to variations in serotonin levels. Read more about effective delayed ejaculation treatment here. What has happened in this case appears to be that the observation that those men who have been given SSRI antidepressants like fluoxetine, paroxetine or Dapoxetine, and who then show a delay in the ejaculatory reflex, has led to a body of opinion forming which holds that it is excessive serotonin in the brain that is responsible for rapid ejaculation.

The truth is that this is in no way a correlation, and indeed is probably not even an association. It’s impossible to experiment with men to determine whether or not those who do ejaculate quickly have higher or lower levels of serotonin in the brain, but even if this were possible it would not demonstrate that was a causal link.

For example, high levels of serotonin may be due to an emotional state of high arousal which has nothing to do with premature ejaculation. It could well be that a man who is oversensitive and to emotional and psychoneural stimulation in general is a highly aroused individual who tends to ejaculate quickly simply because that is his nature.

It’s not all about sex, man!

What you may not know is that there is a very close connection between sexual arousal and emotional arousal. What this means in practice is that any man who is excitable, emotional, anxious, or tends to live with high level of anxiety and emotional arousal, is already well on the way to the level of sexual arousal at which point he will ejaculate, only a few minutes after sexual activity starts.

This is because the body cannot distinguish between emotional arousal and sexual arousal. It stands to reason, therefore, that if you are aroused emotionally before you begin sexual activity, you’re going to reach the point of ejaculatory inevitability sooner than the man who starts sex feeling more relaxed.

This actually gives us a clue to the first “thrust” (pun intended) of the cure for premature ejaculation: physical relaxation, and lowering one’s level of arousal, are absolutely essential to ensuring that a man can last for as long as he wishes before he reaches the point of ejaculation.

Now of course you will know that a decrease in your level of excitement comes with familiarity to a particular stimulus, but it appears to me that men with premature ejaculation don’t acclimatize to the excitement of sex as quickly as one might expect — to me, the implication of this is that sex holds some kind of much deeper emotional significance for these men, and it’s certainly true that I have often found in my work with men who ejaculate quickly that they have deeper emotional conflicts with sex.

These stem from such psychodynamic forces such as a fear of women, a lack of trust, or an inability to establish affectionate and intimate connection with another person without losing their own boundaries and sense of self in the process.

So the second line of attack for any premature ejaculation treatment must be an investigation into the psychodynamic forces at work which maintain a man’s rapid ejaculation in the face of all encouragement, desire and intention to change this pattern of behaviour.

It’s only possible to investigate these issues with the help of a competent depth psychologist who is trained in psychodynamic techniques, but the rewards of doing so are, or at least can be, vast, and the satisfaction gained from having greater control in bed can be immense.

What causes premature ejaculation?

In my experience, the most common causes of the psychological disturbance or neurosis that are responsible for premature ejaculation are an invasive relationship by the female caregiver during the boy’s childhood, often culminating in covert, if not overt, sexual abuse.

It is regrettably often true that what I find in cases of PE is that women who have brought the boy up without the support of men, in particular where the father has been absent, have tended to use the boy psychologically as a substitute for a male partner, thereby causing him conflict between his desire to support her in the way that she wishes, so as to maintain her love, and the boy’s own desire to live as he should: which is to say, as a boy, with his own boundaries, and in a relationship entirely appropriate between a boy and his mother — which does not, as you may well imagine, involve sexual or sexualised overtones.

The third line of attack on any desire to cure premature ejaculation has to be around familiarity with the excitement of penetration and intercourse.

Fortunately this can be done quite easily by process of vaginal acclimatization.

What this means in practice is that the man is required to insert his penis into his partner, but then not to thrust. Instead, the couple lie side by side in bed, moving only as much as may be necessary to maintain the man’s erections. After a period of time that has been reported to vary between 10 and 20 minutes in the majority of cases, but may last as long as 30 in some cases, the man will experience a distinct change in the sensation that he is feeling, at which point he can be sure that the process of vaginal acclimatisation has completed.

What it essentially means, in simplistic terms, is that he has become accustomed to the excitement and feeling of his penis inside a woman. Now, the warmth, the wetness, and the sheer sexual arousal of this position has become a familiar experience for him, and his arousal is no longer shooting him up towards the point of ejaculatory inevitability more quickly than he is able to cope with.

Vaginal acclimatization has been much underrated as part of the cure for premature ejaculation, but in my judgement it is absolutely essential for almost all men who have a problem with rapid ejaculation, since it allows them to rapidly become accustomed to the stimulation of sexual intercourse, and to treat it as a much more mature man would.

Now, don’t misunderstand me: by a “more mature man”, all I mean is one who is accepting of sex is a natural part of his birthright as a man, and who is not overly excited by it in the way that a boy or perhaps a young man would be.

I don’t mean to say that there shouldn’t be, or cannot be, any anticipation of the thrill and satisfaction of lovemaking; rather, what I mean is to say that there should be none of the kind of boyish over-excitement at the prospect of doing something so “sexy”.

It’s hard to explain, but any man who has successfully travelled the road of adolescence through young adulthood to male maturity would probably understand what I’m talking about.

It’s a transition that involves an alteration in attitude to sex, whereby sex moves from simply being something that appears almost unattainable, something to be “grabbed” with both hands whenever one can have it, to a position where a man is fully in his own male power, and is able to take the opportunity to enjoy sex with women because he is strong in his power and attractive in his own right to women as a powerful masculine man.

This level of maturity is probably one of the most effective cures for premature ejaculation, but perversely it’s probably also the most difficult aspect of any male developmental process. It can only come through an initiation into manhood, and premature ejaculation, by its very nature, is something that tends to happen to men who are  less mature psychologically — and whether or not they see the need for some kind of process to guide them into a more powerful male position is often just a matter of chance. Finally it is worth observing that emotional freedom techniques have also been known to help this problem.

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The Art Of Great Lovemaking

Here’s the good news: you really can control your ejaculation and last just about as long as you want in bed. And here’s the even better news: it’s easy to be a long lasting lover.

I guess we all want to be able to enjoy sex for longer – but sometimes it doesn’t seem so easy.  You’re in bed, you’re aroused, she’s hot and willing, you want to give her a good time, but when you enter her, hoping it’ll be better this time …..well, it’s the same old story. So let’s cut to the chase.

Do you really want to last longer? If you do, then take heart. You can stop rapid ejaculation easily, quickly and permanently – provided you have a real desire to do so, and you’re clear about what you want. Assuming that’s for you, click here to discover how you can last ten times longer in bed within days.

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Knowing How To Last Longer In Bed Will Change Your Sex Life!

I want to introduce you to a free report that will blow the world of ejaculation control training wide apart! This sensational report is designed with only one purpose in mind – to show you how to last longer in bed. It’s written by a sex therapist called Lloyd Lester, a man who knows more than anyone else about how to control premature ejaculation. It’s a free PDF report – vital if you want to last longer. Check it out here FREE! (Give it a moment or two to download.).

Lloyd’s a personal friend of mine. He’s a great guy, a real buddy, and a man I’d trust with my life. (He helped me overcome PE and we’ve worked together ever since.) He’s researched dozens of ways for men to last longer in bed and he’s helped thousands of men enjoy a really great sex life.

Now it’s your turn! You can discover the secrets of complete ejaculatory control, and find out how to enjoy longer lasting lovemaking, in his astounding free report, packed full of eye-opening moves for YOU to use RIGHT NOW to stop premature ejaculation DEAD. Like I said, it’s a FREE report, and it gives you the low-down on all the things you never knew about ejaculatory control.

Check it out here – this fantastic free report blows wide-open the secrets of how you can be a truly great lover! How To Last Longer In Bed.

Not only that, but he’s cured hundreds of men who had quick ejaculation problems over the years, showing them how to enjoy long lasting lovemaking with massive orgasms for them and their partners. Now we’ve put all those tips for great sex into a superb eBook, which I’m making available free of charge for you, right here, right now: Make Sex Hotter With These Fantastic Sex Tips!

One of the reasons I like Lloyd’s work so much, especially his program for getting 100% ejaculatory control, is that it’s the one I used to develop my skill as a lover and my ability to last longer in bed, and it’s completely transformed my sex life.

I don’t mind admitting that there was a time, not so long ago in fact, when I was a two minute man; I had no idea how to last longer in bed. I was so embarrassed, and I can’t say I enjoyed sex much either, ejaculating so quickly, long before my partner was warmed up.

Lloyd’s program showed me that the art of lovemaking is about taking things slowly and keeping your arousal below the “point of no return” (the moment when you know you will ejaculate and nothing will stop it).  That sounds obvious, but controlling your arousal and staying below the point of no return for as long as you want takes some doing…… but, once you know how to do it, you will NATURALLY know how to last longer in bed.

And then, you can enjoy long lasting lovemaking that feels FANTASTIC, and is very EASY to sustain. That means more pleasure for YOU and YOUR PARTNER!

In essence, Lloyd’s program is about knowing how to take sexual stimulation without becoming so aroused that you just “pop”. You can learn how to last longer in bed with (1) mental techniques that help you stay relaxed and let you “reprogram” your brain so that you don’t become aroused too quickly, and (2) sexual techniques to give your partner an orgasm and get much more pleasure from sex yourself without becoming too aroused, too quickly. Check it out here – How To Last Longer In Bed.

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How To Last Longer In Bed With Three Simple Tricks!

No matter what you might have read elsewhere, premature ejaculation (PE) isn’t a physical problem.We know this because loads and loads of work has been done by scientists, and they’ve never discovered any physical condition or cause behind premature ejaculation. The truth is that lasting longer in bed is all about mental attitude.

In a way, that can be a disappointing thing to hear, because if there was a physical cause there’d probably also be some simple treatment like a premature ejaculation pill you could take to help you last longer in bed.

But, sadly, there aren’t any PE pills that actually work, so if you want a permanent cure you might like to look at this excellent treatment program, which will show you how to last longer in bed – every time! Click on the link to check it out now.

However, if you want some quick ways to last longer in bed, so that you can overcome PE quickly, you can use some tricks and techniques that “change” how you think about sex or slow down how quickly you get sexually aroused. But you know what? These tricks and techniques are actually fun to try out, and they can make sex a heck of a lot better – for both you and your partner! These tricks make the art of knowing how to last longer during sex really easy! Indeed, they offer a really simple approach to lasting longer in bed.

So the first trick is this: take it slowly. But what does that mean in practice? Well, a lot of guys with premature ejaculation are quite edgy when they think about how long they will last in bed and become even more anxious during sex. Maybe that’s because they think they have to last long enough to satisfy their partner, i.e. bring her to orgasm, or maybe it’s just because they’re concerned about not knowing how to last longer - or at least long enough to impress her!

And sometimes it’s because a guy has a very deep anxiety about sex (or even women); in other words, something buried deep in his subconscious – so deep he’s not really aware of it – is making him anxious during sex. An example might be when guy is worried that he doesn’t really know how to make love, or  his penis isn’t big enough, or he’s not manly enough, or he’s not self-confident enough with women in bed. Yes, sex for men can be a long lasting ordeal if you don’t have a basic level of both confidence and competence.

But how does taking sex slowly help overcome premature ejaculation? Well, because anxiety or edginess around sex, no matter what’s causing it, will make your body produce more adrenalin, which makes you less relaxed, so you do everything with more energy, more quickly. As you can guess, this is not a situation which will help you to last longer in bed! Indeed, it makes you become sexually aroused faster, which of course means you ejaculate more quickly.

The other thing about doing sex quickly is that you’re not really “in the moment”; in other words, you don’t know how to last longer during sex so you can fully enjoy the sensations and feelings you’re getting, and you’re certainly not focusing on how to pick up your partner’s, thoughts, wishes, feelings and desires while you’re in bed with her. (The last thing you want to do in bed is ignore your partner’s sexual needs! And of course, your partner is absolutely longing for you to linger longer in bed!)

Taking sex slowly is a recipe for greater confidence: to sum it up, greater confidence means less adrenalin, slower arousal and a slower ejaculation. Being able to last longer in bed is not, as you can see, just a matter of being able to stop yourself ejaculating.

So what is the secret of knowing how to last longer in bed? Very simply: you find out how to develop complete control over how relaxed you are during sex. Slow things down, take long enough in all you do to keep an eye on what’s happening, notice how aroused you are during lovemaking, talk to your partner for longer in bed, discover what she wants and tell her what you want from her. Every so often just relax your body, take a couple of long, deep breaths and as you exhale just allow the tension to drop away into the bed.

Spend plenty of time on foreplay, kissing and cuddling – in fact one of the best ways of overcoming premature ejaculation is to make foreplay last longer in bed. That way, your partner can have an orgasm before you enter her. That way, she’s happy whatever happens, and she won’t be so inclined to judge whether you know how to last longer in bed than the next man!

Even after you’ve entered her, take it slowly. Don’t rush headlong towards orgasm. Take your time, thrust gently and slowly at first, perhaps using long spaced, shallow strokes to keep your arousal low. If you feel you’re careering headlong towards orgasm, slow down or stop moving altogether, and perhaps even withdraw your penis from your partner’s vagina. You can easily last longer in bed during sex if you employ oral sex or masturbation to keep her aroused until you’re ready to enter her again.

If you’re one of those guys – and there are plenty of them around – who finds being in a vagina so exciting that you pretty much come immediately or within a couple of minutes, one great way to discover how to last longer in bed is to simply spend lots of time playing with your partner’s pussy. The more familiar it is to you, the less exciting you’re going to find it. Ask her if you can explore it with your fingers, tongue and mouth until you’re more familiar with it. She’s hardly likely to say no, as she may well have an orgasm if you do this skilfully!

The second trick that can help you learn how to last longer in bed is all about muscle control. You may have read on the Internet that clamping your PC muscle can stop you ejaculating. (Just for those guys who don’t know, the PC muscle – full name pubococcygeal muscle – is the muscle that you use to stop yourself urinating when you’re in mid-flow. It’s easy to identify the PC muscle when you’ve got an erection because you can make your penis twitch when you contract it.)

But in fact that’s not the whole story: you simply cannot teach yourself how to last longer in bed or stop yourself ejaculating by clamping this muscle when you’re beyond your “point of no return”. (That’s the point in your sexual arousal where nothing can stop you ejaculating.)

Instead, what you can do is to tighten up your PC muscle before you get to the point of no return, keep it contracted for a few seconds, and as you do so, breathe out in several quick, short breaths. That’s a very effective way of reducing your urge to ejaculate and lowering your sexual arousal so that you can carry on for much longer in bed.

If you know how to do this for longer and longer as you make love, you’ll soon be able to last longer in bed, and the more you practice it, the easier and more effective it will be. Eventually it will become second nature. Oh, and share what you’re doing with your partner. The more open and honest you are, the better. As in: “I am trying to find out how to last longer in bed so I can give you greater pleasure, and this is one way to do it.”

She’ll totally appreciate your honesty… Oh, and by the way, anther great line, which is usually true for men with premature ejaculation, is: “I’m sorry I come a bit quickly, you’re just so dam’ hot and you turn me on so much, I can’t help it. We’d better just keep practicing!” (The last sentence is optional.) And here is some more information about the critical steps to lasting longer by choice.

The third simple technique for stopping premature ejaculation is to use the right sex positions while you’re learning how to control your ejaculation and disocvering how to last longer in bed. Man on top, although it’s a very exciting position, tends to make men come quickly simply because their muscles are so tense as they support their weight. Try instead the side-by-side sex positions, which put less pressure on your penis but still give your partner great satisfaction.

Once again, here’s the link to my recommended treatment program: how to last longer in bed. It’s how I became a long lasting lover.

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How To Last Longer In Bed

Welcome to this blog, with simple techniques and tricks to help you last longer in bed and overcome premature ejaculation. Later, I’ll tell you about the program I used to control my own premature ejaculation, and explain why it will work for you too. To go to that website now, without reading my review, just click here: how to last longer in bed.

If you’re experiencing premature ejaculation, and you have no idea how to last longer during sex, you might think the title of this post is a bit flippant (“Enjoying long lasting sex is easy”. Yeah, right!”) But trust me on this: if you find the right approach for you to stopping premature ejaculation, it really doesn’t have to be that difficult.

You might be wondering how I can say this with such certainty. First of all, I spent many years of my life ejaculating far too quickly for my liking, and wishing that sex could somehow magically last longer. Then I spent quite a lot of time trying to overcome premature ejaculation – without much success.

In fact when I look back on those feeble attempts to become a longer lasting lover, I really don’t know whether to laugh or cry! However, one thing that I did learn  – and you probably know this already – is that the Internet is full of “ejaculation control” schemes of greater or lesser value, and when you’re searching for a way to last longer in bed as a man, you need to pick your way carefully through the jungle of competing schemes. Here’s the one I think is best (click to go there now): How to last longer.

So in the post below, I set out a few facts and fallacies about ejaculation control so that you can start your research on how to last longer in bed from a solid foundation.

Until then, best wishes,

John D Alexander

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How To Last Longer In Bed – the Critical Steps

So you want to last longer in bed? That’s fantastic – if you learn how to last longer in bed, you’ll avoid the horror of sex ending before your partner’s got even remotely aroused, and you’ll avoid the shame and embarrassment that I experienced before I got control of my ejaculation and became a longer lasting lover . (See the right-hand column of this blog for the shameful details!)

What I’m doing here is recommending a particular treatment program – needless to say, it’s the one that helped me. If you want to have a look at it right now without reading anything more, this is a link to the official site: how to last longer in bed – advice for men.

 Here are what I think of as the most critical qualities in learning how to last longer in bed. Any treatment program that’s going to work has to show you how to develop these qualities:

1) Commitment – you have to be 100% committed to improving your performance in bed. You have to want this passionately. More than anything else in your love life, in fact. Without the application and commitment to see it through, you’re not going to be able to last as long in bed as both you and she would like.

2) Relaxation and Confidence - you need to be confident that you can carry this off, that you can be a long-lasting lover. The fact is, you can – millions of men have improved their performance in bed, and so can you. But at the same time, you need to be relaxed about the process, because anxiety actually causes premature ejaculation. The more relaxed in bed you are, the more confident you are about your ability to make love as a man, the quicker and easier it’ll be for you to stop premature ejaculation.

3) Awareness - and specifically this means you have to be aware of your own sexual arousal, of how near you are to the point of no return, the point at which you just ejaculate , and nothing can stop you doing so, when you make love. Most men with premature ejaculation find that their orgasm seems to happen with little or no “warning”: that’s because they haven’t learnt how to recognize how near they are to the moment of orgasm. Without this knowledge, even the best techniques won’t stop you ejaculating too quickly.

4) Muscle Control – yes, it’s the old PC muscle (the one you use to stop your urine in mid-flow). You might have heard of its importance in stopping premature ejaculation. But most treatment programs and websites that claim to be able to stop premature ejaculation recommend that you stop yourself ejaculating by contracting your PC muscle just before you ejaculate. I can tell you, this is absolutely useless. You simply can’t stop yourself ejaculating by squeezing that muscle. But you can use it to control your arousal – and that’s because squeezing it before you’re even approaching the point of orgasm will dramatically slow down or stop the increase in your level of arousal, and so allow you to “keep on loving” without ejaculating. In fact, this technique is absolutely critical when you’re learning how to last longer during sex.

5) Becoming Less Sensitive to Sexual Stimulation – and here’s what might be more important than anything else: you need to learn how to receive any kind of sexual stimulation, whether that’s oral pleasure, masturbation by your partner or yourself, or full-blown lovemaking, without “popping” too soon. The only way to do this is to use some simple and enjoyable exercises, ones which allow your body to learn how to take continual stimulation and stay below the point at which you will ejaculate.

6) And the Rest…I think the points above are far and away the most important, but there are some other things you can do to prevent premature ejaculation. These include breathing in the right way during lovemaking, using the right sex positions, and having the right attitude and relationship with your partner.

Find out more about all these things in the best program on the Internet (in my opinion – it saved me from a lifetime having to apologize and feeling ridiculous in bed). I mean, come on, who wants to be a two pump chump? Learn how to last longer in bed here.

Good luck,

John

 

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Make Sex Last Longer

I guess you wouldn’t be here if you didn’t have premature ejaculation. Well, you’ve come to the right place: I’m making it my business to root out the scams and the rip-offs from the genuine programs that can help you make sex last longer.

Ten years ago I was in deep trouble with my sex life: I enjoyed intercourse but it lasted for all of two minutes. That probably meant my partners in bed didn’t enjoy it at all – they wanted me to last longer. And some of them took the trouble to very kindly tell me as well.

If there’s one thing worse than coming too quickly, I guess it’s being told by the woman you’ve taken to bed that unless you find out how to last longer in bed she’ll be walking out on you. (Mind you, that was the kick up the ass I needed to actually get up and do something to find out how to delay my ejaculation and make sex last longer.)

So that was the start of a journey through dozens of programs, techniques, books, websites, and even sex therapists. Talk about tedious! Finding out how to last longer in bed wasn’t difficult, as all I had to do was try all the ideas to delay my ejaculation that I found. Oddly enough, in some ways it was actually quite enjoyable – I certainly had a lot of sex, although sadly not with the same women for very long.

Anyway, it was my own fault, because looking back I can see now that some of those programs were so crazy that I should never even tried them, and I’ve certainly learned to last longer in bed much more quickly if I’d ignored them. Giving you the scoop on what works and what doesn’t is therefore my mission, in the hope that you can learn to last longer during sex and become as good a lover as I am.

Sounds a bit arrogant doesn’t it? However, it is true in all I mean to say is that with the right treatment program for premature ejaculation you can easily discover how to last longer in bed.

Watch out for my next post in which I’ll reveal more!

Best wishes, John Alexander

 http://www.lastlongerinbedeasily.com/the-causes-of-pe/

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